I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Someone signed my nipple.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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