i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
