3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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