i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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