Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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