i don't like sucking hair
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
