so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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