all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
