Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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