love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
