I think scott just propositioned me for sex
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
where are my eyebrows?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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