We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize