yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
