He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize