i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
