"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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