At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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