She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
