Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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