Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
