I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
