he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
