What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
