And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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