I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
