Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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