im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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