too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
