she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I wish you could order shots online.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
