I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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