Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
