I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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