Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
