Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
