people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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