he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
