Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
