im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
