May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
