Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
