Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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