idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
