She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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