if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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