I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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