I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
