i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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