i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize