what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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