420 ftw
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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