I accidentally had phone sex last night
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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