Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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