some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Farmville is her only friend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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