I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize