Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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