Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Vodka?
Forever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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