It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
